There are really no individuals who commit to marriage wanting or expecting a divorce. Breaking up or ending a marriage is usually the last option considered by couples. After all, both have agreed to commit to a lifetime partnership through thick and thin.
Barring scenarios of habitual infidelity, abuse and other ultimately extreme situations, you need to try working out those tough times. Nevertheless, when it comes to the moment of split, seeking mediated divorce is known to preserve couple’s dignity but can save marriage as well.
Purpose of Mediator
No one calls a mediator because they are looking for a fight. Individuals call mediator because they’re trying to keep the control over their relationship and come up with a solution for their problems. This will preserve their dignity and in some level, maintain their relationship.
Mediators are also not looking to force couples to a funnel wherein divorce is the only option left. They are impartial representatives whose jobs include helping you cooperate as you did once. Through the cooperation process, some couples can re-ignite their abilities to work through their major problems and conflicts.
The main focus of mediated divorce is communication. This is similarly the main breakdown which results in divorce in the very first place. Through opening your mind and facing communication problems with head-on, you might discover that the one on the other side is still the one that you love. You can overcome the barriers that you face. Marriages seeking for mediated divorce might not be over. These are just threatened, and through getting the lines open and going again, these threats surpass.
When you meet a mediator and start to talk out problems and the separation, take time to ask yourself if you have been a good spouse. Consider if you are still capable of seeing things from your partner’s point of view. Do you really understand his pain? Are there unrealistic expectations that you couldn’t meet? Have you put your spouse first instead of yourself?
If your answer to these questions is no, then you have major problems that you must overcome. It cannot be denied that many individuals these days are living in such a selfish culture which is fully obsessed with many unrealistic notions about fairness. Marriages are considered partnerships but here are instances that it is not fair. To achieve a strong partnership, one needs to understand that there are inevitable times that you need to give more than what you receive.
Removing the Blame
A mediated divorce proceeding is all about removing the blame. In divorce, there are actually plenty of blames which go around focusing who is actually at fault and seldom leaves you with excellent results. The funny thing is that once the blame is removed from the picture, there isn’t more left to argue. The moment this happens, ass yourself “is divorce really the best thing to do? Or your marriage is something to save? If you are ready to open the communication lines once again, consider a consultation.